ep⋅on⋅y⋅mous

An Old Friend

Below is real life conversation I had with an old friend who I have not spoken to in 4 years. I deleted him on my MSN ages ago but obviously forgot to block him also. One night he just randomly popped up and this was the conversation that followed...

Marc says:
hey

Chris says:
hi
who's this?

Marc says:
you don't remember me?

Chris says:
no?

Marc says:
:S

Chris says:
not by your email address anyway
*pastes email address*

Marc says:
:|
i'll appear online for a sec maybe that will help!

Chris says:
it says you're not on my contact list

Marc says:
ah really
well i'm set to busy now

Chris says:
oh, are you busy?

Marc says:
no just random status
still no clues?

Chris says:
not a clue.

Marc says:
*posts Facebook link*
that may help

Chris says:
oh right yeah
how's it going?

Marc says:
not bad not fantastic you?

Chris says:
can't grumble dude

Marc says:
hows life going for ya?
i think i tried adding you on facebook a while ago actually

Chris says:
didn't get anything through.
had no idea you were on facebook

Marc says:
weird that, i'm pretty sure i found yours, yeah had it 2 or 3 years

Chris says:
did you have it before it was cool?

Marc says:
oh yeah but it's pretty wank now
everyone has it and the layout sucks

Chris says:
yeah. it went mainstream

Marc says:
course it did
like myspace
what's twitter like?

Chris says:
i hate it when they do that. i wish they'd just stay unpopular

Marc says:
no way man
and now everyone is raping the quizzes and surveys on it
luckily it has good security features though

Chris says:
i'm on this one which is so unpopular and unknown - there's only me and about two hundred users on the site. people i don't know. it's a great social networking tool.

Marc says:
the layout is absolute shit, last year it was perfect
what's the name of it?

Chris says:
MyHiddenFace uk
you been on it?

Marc says:
no never heard of it
I'll check it out now, so i'm guessing you prefer it to facebook?
i googled it but no not many results

Chris says:
yeah it tries to keep off the search engines
otherwise people find it
i'll send you an invite

Marc says:
thanks

Chris says:
you have to be privately invited

Marc says:
cool sounds good

Chris says:
but you're not allowed to know the person who you are inviting
it has to be randoms

Marc says:
oh

Chris says:
so just pretend you don't know me?
that should work

Marc says:
yep sure
i don't get what they're playing at changing to a layout which obviously most people don't like on facebook

Chris says:
corporate sellouts

Marc says:
yeah and it seems like there's not alot we can do to change their minds

Chris says:
i know

Marc says:
are you online on ps3?

Chris says:
brb man - i'm getting really angry just talking about this
just need some time to think about this and cool down

Marc says:
ok

Chris says:
really fucks me off

Marc says:
yeah man

Chris says:
IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS
WE ARE THE FUCKING PEOPLE MAN
WE SHOULD HAVE POWER TO STAND UP TO THEM
IT'S FUCKING DEPRESSING

Marc says:
i even heard about it being bashed on the radio
but they don't give a fuck

Chris says:
FUCKING FUCKERS
CUNTS
CAN'T STAND IT

Marc says:
yep, first myspace sold out then facebook

Chris says:
you know what dude?
you know what i'd do?
i'd fucking find the makers of facebook
and kill their fucking families
slow torture
gouge their eyes out

Marc says:
:)

Chris says:
DON'T FUCKING SMILE
GET MAD
unless you're just winding me up
fucking hell i bet you are
it's so like you

Marc says:
no I'm approving of your comments lol

Chris says:
fuck sake
i can't even talk to you right now
can we do this tomorrow?
it's great to catch up with you again
or it would be great

Marc says:
what's wrong?

Chris says:
i'm just so fucking mad about this now

Marc says:
course we can yeah

Chris says:
dude, this isn't you
it's me
i'm sorry

Marc says:
huh?

Chris says:
getting mad

Marc says:
no worries

Chris says:
this is just very personal
you know how i used to get with music?

Marc says:
yeah

Chris says:
how nobody else could like the bands i like
because it had to stay underground

Marc says:
is that really the problem then or?
yep

Chris says:
well, it just progressed
and now i have it with social networking sites

Marc says:
i can understand

Chris says:
i feel embarrassed just telling you

Marc says:
about that?
i don't mind

Chris says:
but hey man, this is me. this is who i am.

Marc says:
indeed
but you aren't alone, facebook is a shithole compared to how it was
i'll see if i can find out when i registered with it first

Chris says:
we should meet up and discuss direct action.
i have a hacker friend who can get Zuckerberg's address
and other facebook employees

Marc says:
really

Chris says:
yeah, you in?
can you drive? you could drive us there.
that could be your role.

Marc says:
i can drive, no car though!
and i've been drinking ha

Chris says:
not tonight man
but soon.

Marc says:
drive where exactly?

Chris says:
i think he lives in California

Marc says:
so you want zuckerburg sorted out?
berg* sorry

Chris says:
yeah, he needs to go
or he needs to see the light
you get my drift?

Marc says:
yeah

Chris says:
i just thought though - we're in England
we can't drive to California

Marc says:
true

Chris says:
but that won't stop us
we'll find a way of hitting them in the UK

Marc says:
i'm on his wikipedia page now
yeah definitley

Chris says:
get the dirt on him dude
we could blackmail him with some of the info on his wiki
make note of the juicy stuff

Marc says:
you really think we could?

Chris says:
we're the fucking people
we can do whatever

Marc says:
he looks weird in his pictures

Chris says:
he sounds jewish
does it say he's jewish?
shit..

Marc says:
jewish parents

Chris says:
dude, my computer just clicked.
i think they're watching
FUCKING CUNTS
FUCK YOU
WANKERS
dude, i'll catch you later

Marc says:
they're watching?

Chris says:
or on my laptop
FUCK YOU TWATFUCKERS
CUNTY TWATS
peace out.

Marc says:
see you later

Hot Dog

Eustace the Moth